Now that the festive period is upon us, everyone is preoccupied with Xmas parties, decorating, mulled wine, dodgy Xmas jumpers, shopping, presents and spending time with family. The one thing that has always stood out for me during Christmas time is how much everything shines.

For those that have been following our journey, you will know how much I love hugs. However, there is actually one thing that I love more than hugs….and that is sparkle.

Ensuring the need for sparkle and light on Doris, I packed my small bottle of fairy dust (glitter) and for Xmas we made sure there was tinsel, fairy lights and as much shiny, glittery card/paper as possible. In hindsight I would have brought my disco ball but as it goes I have been suitably happy with the amount of shine we have going on. The surprising thing is that I never realised how much natural shimmer there would be around us in the almighty Pacific.

Sun casting pathways on the water, fish glittering in the depths of the crystal clear blue sea, sunsets/sunrises reflecting metallic light across the ocean, rain drops glistening on the deck, turquoise flashes shining in the tops of breaking waves, stars twinkling in the night sky, the glimmer of the moon…the list goes on.

There is always sparkle surrounding us, we just have to see it x

SPARKLE UPDATE:
The last 12 hours has been one of my most exciting of leg 3 so far.

The 1st night shift had a small sliver of moon low in the sky shining a narrow, glittery pathway across the ocean. When LP and I went out for our 2nd night shift, we found that the moon had set and the wind had died completely. The sky was unbelievably clear with a picture perfect Milky Way amongst all the other stars and the brighter ones were all reflecting in the water. We have seen one or two stars shine their light on the water but this night there were small lines of reflection all around us.

Oceania was flat, still and perfectly calm. As we began to row I noticed that where the oar was moving through the water there were small flecks of what I can only describe as sparkle light. I was mesmerised. We’ve seen this phenomena before but nothing as bright or plentiful as what I found myself looking at. At the end of each stroke we took, there was a perfect semicircle of sparkles that drifted effortlessly across the surface of the water.

LP had just begun narrating ‘Home Alone’ to me (it is Xmas after all) when I stopped her as I had a huge urge to explore this sparkle light further. I stopped rowing and went to lean over the side to make splashes to see if I could create even more sparkles. I could! There was small specks flying through the water in all directions. I felt like an over excited child.

Now…the last time I splashed around in the water was when I went for a daytime dip in the Pacific with LP and as I was kicking my legs as hard as I could, she said to me,
“Well that’s great..now you are going to attract all the sharks.”
Little did I know that as I was swooshing my hand in the inky black water making as many sparkles as possible, LP was behind me thinking exactly the same things she had that day we swam.

About 5 minutes after my sparkle splashing heaven, LP spotted a large fin slice through the dead still water. I kid you not. We both looked at each other and then intently to our left when suddenly a large shape appeared between our oars lit up by the green tinge of our starboard navigation light. It was Eduardo!

There was no question. He was huge and looked even bigger at night as obviously our perceptions are always going to be more warped in the darkness. A bolt of adrenalin pulsated through my body. This shark was big…and had I really attracted him? The rendition of Home Alone was put on hold and for the next hour LP and I rowed wide eyed looking out for our Eduardo as well as Alonso and Juan for the remainder of the session.
Our rowing speed increased quite dramatically with our adrenaline injection and with LP looking right and me looking left, we had the boat covered. We saw Eduardo twice more. Once when we saw some sparkles and a swish of movement near our oars on the right and then again when he swam silently under the boat.

The dawn shift was magical with silver and pink light glistening across the great flat expanse of water around us. As the sun rose, the Mahi Mahi started belly flopping, the birds soaring and as we saw a large fin cut through the still water like a carving knife, we knew Eduardo was still with us.

We believe Eduardo to be a relative of Fernando. A possible Galapagos shark who is about 6ft long and solid. We’ll soon find out if he and his family are going to follow us and keep you updated. I wonder if Eduardo will become as big a household name as our Fernando?

Each leg of our odyssey is a separate entity. We have had a different personality and team dynamic to get used to as we have had Izzy, then Lizanne and now Meg join us on our journey, different wildlife, changing sea state, areas of the ocean and weather conditions. The variety that this has created for me, LP and Ems is invaluable and none more so than this last part of the expedition. The only other human interaction we have had that is not with each other (apart from with families) is with the passing boats and these have been very few and far between.

I’ve just finished a rotation with Megs and it’s been an interesting ride. We’ve laughed hysterically and had deep, moving and thought provoking chat. We’ve shared perspectives on the row and on life, on religion, death, routine, gender, travel…and this can easily all happen in just one 2 hour row shift!!

Our last sunset shift was a great one. We had some chill-out music playing on the radio and were winding down for our first sleep shift. It was very overcast but this seemed to make the water look even clearer than normal although it was dull. Suddenly, out of the blue I heard a thud and then a flapping and knew that a large sized fish had landed on Doris. I jumped up and moved further forward to get out of the way of the unlucky fish. It was writhing around in a blind panic. My first thought was to call LP (our night in shining armour), as she was the large fish picker upper. I shouted for her to come as quick as possible and turned back to the fish. Meg had made her way forward from the back rowing position and having read my other blog from leg 2, was attempting the same ‘use the sheepskin to cover fish and pick it up before it dies and release back into the ocean’ approach. She was successful and the fish swam off. It was about 2ft long, quite round and flat, silver and with a big eye. It looked similar to a Butterfish. Looks like we now have two fish rescuers aboard!

We sat back down to row again and allowed the excitement to settle, when about 5 minutes later we were surrounded by Mahi Mahi. They glowed a luminescent blue and were playing around us like dolphins and living up to their nickname of dolphin fish. We have never seen such large Mahi Mahi (they are giants), never seen such an incredible show of belly flopping jumps that went on around us and also never seen such high clearance in the jumps.

In the dead of a pitch black night shift a huge sized flying fish (the biggest we’ve seen) smacked LP in the back. What’s with the super sized wildlife at the moment? Perhaps Giant Octopus or Blue Whale will be next!

Where are the aeroplanes?? We have not seen one plane since leaving Samoa. It’s all very strange.

We had our first sighting a passenger ship. It was very exciting. The Dawn Princess passed as close as 3 miles from us and provided an impressive light display in an otherwise starless, moonless night. 1st Officer Harry initially made contact with us as he saw us on the AIS and wanted to double check all was ok as we were travelling at such a slow speed! This is something we always have to explain. LP ended up having a long chat and found out that they are doing 2 week cruises of New Caledonia from Sydney. I think LP’s over active imagination combined with being at sea for 8 months meant she was rather taken with 1st Officer Harry. With a beautiful voice and an interest in our expedition, the conversation with Harry has definitely been one of LP’s highlights!

Christmas decorating has begun. We’re getting all festive on Doris.

It’s been strange being out here and having no signs of Xmas whatsoever. No concept of days of the week, months of the year or seasons. What time is it? What day is it? Where are we, who are we and what exactly are we doing? x

Only after completion of this expedition will we understand the full extent of our achievements and what subtle or monumental changes have occurred to us all personally. I don’t think it’s possible to spend time out here in Oceania (whether 2 or 9 months) and there not be a shift that happens mentally. What we have shared and experienced as a team will forever unite us and remain imprinted in our lives and all of us will have learnt pertinent life lessons that we can carry with us when we step back onto land.

I was told by Meg yesterday that I always seem to have a different perspective on things, so today, I wanted to share a different perspective on changes. Today, without thinking about the end and reflecting back on our journey, as that is yet to come, I wanted to let you know how I have changed even before the row began.

1. Rowing
Just before sending off my application for the Row, I thought I’d better see if I actually liked rowing! I went to my local gym and sat on a rowing machine for the first time in my life and stayed there for 1 and a half hours. I loved it. I found the movement really meditative, liked the fact that your mind could wander or be still and felt like many parts of my body were being worked.
I applied.
During the lead up before leaving from San Francisco, I spent time on Doris and I spent time on ergs (rowing machines), I was taught the basic technique by Ems and I set about learning a new skill – how to row!

 
2. Eye surgery
After our practice 48 hour row back in November last year, I decided that neither glasses nor contacts were going to work for me on the Row. With the 2 hour shift pattern continuing 24 hours, contacts were not a viable option and glasses were just annoying as they steamed up and would continuously have sea spray and rain drops on them. So, the fact that I would be in an extreme environment with limited home comforts and daily challenges, made me fast track my decision to undergo laser eye surgery even though the thought of it had always petrified me and I was a little dubious about the long term effects.

In January 2015, I bit the bullet and decided to go for it. I had the operation on the Friday and was back at work on Monday. As I lay down to prepare for the procedure, the team joked that I surely couldn’t be afraid of what was going to happen as I was about to head off and row across the Pacific! Although it was the most fear I have felt in a very long time, the procedure was painless, quick and professional. Accuvison (the clinic where I had the surgery done in London) were amazing and by the end of the weekend resting my recovering eyes, I was seeing perfectly unaided!!

The operation is revolutionary and I can actually say that it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. My better than 20/20 vision has done me proud and could be part of the reason that I’m nicknamed ‘hawk eyes’ out here on the boat.

3. Embracing pink
I have always been a lover of every colour…except pink. Maybe it’s because I was a tomboy as a child and just naturally rebelled against anything ‘girlie’ or maybe it’s because my mum distressingly decorated my bedroom in pink in my formative years. Who knows, but the fact remains, I have never liked pink. Yet amazingly here I am embracing pink like never before. All our branding is pink, my home on Doris is pink and most of our clothes are pink. I have even been known to openly and willingly purchase many random items of a pink colour over the last year! I never thought I’d be saying…bring on the pink…

 
4. The Body
I can honestly say that when I arrived back in the UK in May 2014, physically I was the the leanest and fittest I’ve felt in many years. I would maybe even go as far as saying that my body felt and looked one of the best it ever has. As LP has already discussed, there were radical changes that all of us had to undergo physically whilst training for the row. There is nothing quite as counter intuitive as making yourself gain weight. Although my strength increased dramatically during the training and there is something very satisfactory about pushing higher leg press weights than most of the men in your local gym, the change in body shape experienced was not the most aesthetically attractive. As the high protein intake was combined with fat and our need for rapid increased weight gain, the change that took place, although necessary, did not fill me with joy.

I will always count my blessings that I am healthy and love my body whatever it may look like but it was not easy going from lean and small before the row to strong but also the most I’ve ever weighed and the largest I’d ever been! It’s all relative, I know, and I fully comprehended the need to have the extra stores when we began the journey so that we would have the energy to continue it for as long as we have. However, from my personal perspective, I feel that the misconception that at the beginning and indeed the end of this challenge I will/should be ‘buff’ and/or the fittest I’ve ever been couldn’t be further from the truth.

What I have learnt though, is that our bodies are incredible. They adapt quickly and will often give us necessary signs before serious injuries occur. They come in all shapes and sizes and our mental perceptions of a good, healthy body isn’t necessarily what society leads you to believe.

5. Flipper had to go
When I was 15 years old I had my belly button pierced. I loved it and it very soon became my friend. The design was a silver dolphin dangling from a small silver hoop, I called it Flipper and Flipper became a part of me. As we have already discussed, all of us are taking part in some research being done into the effects of long term endurance on females and this includes bone density scans. To my dismay when I went for my first scan at GSK I was informed that Flipper had to be taken out as no metal on the body was allowed. You can imagine my disappointment. Flipper and I had never been separated – not for 25 years! Truth be told…I didn’t even know how to take Flipper out. As it turned out, it wasn’t quite as easy as one would imagine and in the end only with the help of the lovely Tess and a pair of pliers could we actually set Flipper free. I instantly felt naked. Belly button piercings close very quickly and are are not like ears where the hole always remains. The piercing was out, the hole closed and I said goodbye to an era of my life. I still look down at my bare stomach with longing and miss Flipper dreadfully and I even still think I can feel him occasionally.

6. UK – Winter
Having been away from the UK for a number of years (about 15), I’ve done my best, wherever possible, to attempt to live an eternal summer. The shock of having to deal with my first English winter in so long, definitely took some getting used to. As some of you already know, being cold and wet is not one of my favourite states of being. An English winter is just that…but armed with my three quarter length puffer jacket and my Mum’s winter boots, I managed to survive and push through. The plan to then complete the Row and come back for yet another Winter was not really supposed to be on the cards. However, if I’m really honest, after the relentless beating we’ve received from the heat out on the ocean, a winter and rest from the sun is most probably desperately needed.

—————-

I’m used to travelling by myself, beginning a new life somewhere in a far away destination alone and being in my own company. One gets very accustomed to independence and doing things as and when one wants to. I’ve recently been a little concerned that I am getting stuck in my ways and would find compromise difficult. Preparing for and implementing this expedition has shown me that for the right opportunity (and hopefully person), I am more than able to embrace and make compromises. What we need to remember is that compromises can more than often be positive changes. If we recognise this and always remember, as we know, change is present in every part of our lives, then hopefully every time something shifts or doors close, benefit will be felt and other doors will definitely open x

UPDATE:

Highlights
1. Had the most hysterical day shifts with Meg discussing every topic of conversation under the sun including twerking and her desire to perfect it!!!
2. We managed a half an hour sunset social where for the first time our cocktail/drink choice became a reality. We laughed, chatted and all drank Baileys from make shift fruit pot shot glasses.

Lowlights
1. We are still travelling at a depressingly slow speed.
2. Last night was by far the worst night I’ve had on Doris. There was the most flying fish carnage we’ve ever seen. They were EVERYWHERE. I dreaded coming out on the oars and spending the full 2 hours having to dodge the flying kamikaze creatures. One went down the neck of my jacket and another hit me so close to my mouth that if I had been breathing in slightly open mouthed at the time I would have swallowed it!! There were fish and fish scales all over the deck. I had to don my full wet weather gear for extra protection from them hitting me. I’m praying tonight will not be a repeat performance.

Father (Bernard): My first reaction to the news that Natalia had been chosen to join the crew, was a definite NO! to the idea. How could I, as a father, allow my daughter to embark on such a crazy venture!! Having always allowed my children to follow their own path in life, I duly resigned myself to the fact that she would, as usual, make her own decision. As time went by, I gradually accepted the fact that it was going to happen and that I had to learn to live with it. I have the greatest respect for Natalia’s abilities and know that she has always known which path to take.

Mother (Anne): When Natalia initially told us that she was interested in rowing across the Pacific Ocean, I actually laughed. My daughter, who loved the water, was a wonderful swimmer, had worked on yachts, had travelled the Pacific in a yacht, but who had NEVER rowed in her life, was contemplating this enormous challenge!

We were horrified when we realised that she was serious. “What if the boat capsized, what if a whale came up under the boat, what if they were attacked by pirates, what if she fell out of the boat and was attacked by sharks, etc. etc”. This was an adventure too far! We knew Natalia to be an adventurer and non-conformist and someone always seeking a new challenge, but this would be so DANGEROUS.

She went for the interview and we thought that would be that, until she came home some days later and told us that she loved the whole concept of the row, had met Laura and was very taken with her. She met Emma and Izzy and was offered a place on the row. The whole concept was incredible – 4 women to row 8446 miles, sleeping for 2 hours and rowing for 2 hours, unsupported, raising money for Breast Cancer Care and Walking with the Wounded. To say we were filled with trepidation would have been an understatement!

However, the whole thing came to fruition, but when Isabel was unable to row the whole way and could only do the first leg, I was secretly pleased and thought the project would collapse. I underestimated the determination of Laura, Emma and Natalia. They had the bit between their teeth and were going to do this. Lizanne and Meg were brought on board and legs two and three were sorted.

Once the row started and they left San Francisco we became addicted to watching those little dots on their tracking page and reading their daily blogs, we settled down a bit and began to rather enjoy the journey. We looked at the girls and the row in a different light – what amazing women they were – anything thrown at them, they overcame. Their determination and resilience became a talking point with our friends and family and with people from all over the world, who started following them, admiring their courage and spirit. Their salt sores, their ‘claw’ hands, their lack of sleep, etc, were talked about with such stoicism, and NEVER did they whinge or complain! They had a job to do and come hell or high water, they were going to finish it.

When we met in Hawaii, after their first leg, I was not sure how they would be physically and was quite apprehensive, but after a few stumbling steps as they came off Doris, they were energised and excited and enjoyed all that the lovely people from the Hawaii Yacht Club threw at them.

The second leg was a real challenge – 97 days instead of the 65 stated – The Doldrums really got to them and once again, their spirit and determination kept them going. (I would have jumped into the ocean and drowned myself, weeks before they arrived in Samoa!) I thought that Samoa was going to be hard to leave, especially after the gruelling 2nd leg and getting back on Doris, difficult. I could not have been more wrong – they were raring to go and now that it is the last leg, they seem to be galloping along with their goal in sight. We are so proud of all 6 of the girls and feel extremely blessed to have such a strong, adventurous, interesting, loving, spirited daughter.

Brother (Jared): My sister and I started travelling in 1980. She was 5 and I was 4. We packed up all our belongings in Johannesburg, and headed 5800 miles North, to the unknown world of Manchester. Not the most exotic of locations perhaps, but quite a big adventure none the less. More than anything, it instilled in us the notion that we were a little bit different from those around us, and that our home was not a fixed place. As we got older and learned to make our way in the world, the seed of that idea grew and branched out, and for Natalia, became a way of life. She decided that the whole world would be her home, and set about seeing as much of it as she possibly could.

Natalia is the most travelled person I know. And I know a few. She has literally been from the Himalayas to deepest darkest Africa. From the foothills of the Andes to the frozen wastelands of Antarctica. She is the epitome of living life to the full, she is the journey, with only a vague concern for the destination. When she told me about the ad for the row, my reaction was ‘haven’t you done enough already?’ But she hadn’t. For her, there is always more to see, more to experience. She walked into this great adventure with her eyes wide open, taking each day by day, moment by moment. As she always does. Since setting off from San Francisco those many months ago, I really can’t think of any time where I was worried about her. I chart her progress in much the same way as I have done for all her previous adventures.

For some, rowing a boat across the greatest expanse of water on earth would be the pinnacle of their life. For Natalia, it’s just another leg of the journey. I fully embrace, and in many ways share, her spirit of adventure. What else is there that makes any sense? We’re not here practicing life. We’re here living it. The ‘One night only’ performance is happening right now, and all of us are starring in the line-up. Natalia is making hers a show worth watching. Are you?

UPDATE:
A huge thanks to everyone that wrote to us with their star/planet suggestions.
We’re going with the info received from Mt. St. John observatory in New Zealand who describes the object perfectly. We now believe that it is the planet Venus and apparently it will be in conjunction with the moon today.
The reason for the fading in and out still remains a mystery but may just be an atmospheric effect seen by us as we are so close to the surface of the water.

It was an amazingly clear night with a star filled sky. Between the 4 of us, we saw about 15 shooting stars and the almighty Pacific became peaceful as she gently undulated around Doris.
Progress, unfortunately, is still a little slow as we’ve moved from being stuck in a Northerly current to being held back in a Southerly one, but we’re still laughing and taking it all one stroke at a time x

Day 23 – How clean is clean?

My last experience on a boat was a little different to this one.

Flash back to 2013 where I found myself on a 62m Super Yacht cruising Mallorca, France and Croatia in the Mediterranean. My role on the boat was Lead Stewardess, which basically meant that I served the clients and was a glorified cleaner of the boat interior. For those new to the industry, Super Yachts are 5* luxury boats that are usually privately owned and used by their owners and friends or chartered out to randoms.

Before the owner’s arrival and during their stay, the boat has to be cleaned thoroughly and I mean meticulously in every nook and cranny, air vent, cupboard corner, ceiling, floor, sideboard, surface, picture frame, light switch…are you getting the picture? We’re talking ear buds and toothpicks in the final stage of the ‘detail’ clean to ensure not a speck of dust or dirt remains and then the cleaning continues daily.

Let’s now come back to Doris. The state of cleanliness on our little 8m boat is definitely questionable. In our defence it’s not easy to clean thoroughly when you’re constantly being thrown around a tiny cabin space, time is of the essence during an awake shift, you’re sleep deprived and there is no financial motivation.

So…we’ll let you decide how clean is clean!

Living quarters:

When the sea state is rough, the hatch door has to remain permanently shut. This means that condensation forms on the walls of our cabin and then everything gets and remains damp. For very brief moments of airflow, we may flush the cabin by quickly opening a hatch to allow some air to enter. If this is timed incorrectly there will be varying amounts of water depending on the wave size that will enter the cabin. With all this moisture and water, the underneath of our cushions that line the bottom of our cabin are always a little or very wet, covered in small bits of stray food and hairs. The ideal scenario is to go into the hatches that are underneath these cushions as little as possible! Cleaning this area is futile but we make a cursory attempt every week or so.

Our make shift rubbish bin (thanks to Lizanne in Leg 2) works well but is not a self emptying bin. It still requires someone to decide when it is full enough and be changed for another bin bag and small enough so that it can still fit into our ‘rubbish hatch’. I would say that both Ems and I are the main two that take the initiative to empty the bin but it very often looks overflowing.

The footwell has always been a little distressing. It was definitely Izz’s least favourite place on the boat in leg 1. It is a collecting area for any stray hair, rubbish that didn’t quite make it into the bin plus any random stuff that a rower may accidentally bring in with them on their feet when entering the cabin after a row shift. Luckily our footwell also holds four 4 litre water containers that we use to collect our desalinated water. Without fail everyday when the watermaker is run someone will be momentarily distracted and there will be a minor fresh water flood. For this reason we all seem to think that the footwell is almost self cleaning!?

Food and beverages department:

Our sporks all live on the small thin shelf in the aft cabin that is the holding place for the auto pilot. It is not meant to be a shelf for random stuff that has no home, but it seems to be used as such. So the sporks just lie loose on this shelf collecting all the talc and other roaming particles in the air. After eating we normally give them a good lick and consider that to be clean. They then go back on the auto pilot shelf!

Tupperware (by the way mine seems to have befallen another tragedy yesterday where it was apparently washed overboard by a large wave…sad times) is used for breakfast, main meals and desserts. There has been an evolution of cleaning methods where the tupperware is involved from cold water and a sponge to a quick rinse with boiling water. They often look pretty clean, but when you open them in the morning there has been known to be a strong smell of the previous day’s meal that wafts your way. So are they really clean?

Our water bottles have been with us for our whole journey. Some just contain water and others are used for our SOS rehydration salts. After a certain amount of time any plastic water bottle will begin to develop black bacterial spots. We have been rowing for over 8 months day in and day out drinking water, so although attempts have been made in each stop over to clean the bottles and with Milton during the legs, for the most part these black spots still remain. We all seem to have done a mighty fine job of just ignoring the spots or some (myself included) will try a wipe with tissue paper to temporarily remove them. That makes them clean again – right?

The outside deck:

The main deck area is in direct line of rain so will often get a natural clean when the heavens open. The area under our gunnels, however, where our extra oars are stored, is another story. This part of the boat can be tricky to access and is quick to accumulate grime and slime. Flying fish often end up in this area too and if undetected as they are well hidden from sight and if they are not smelt, will stay here and decompose. Only if we have a large foot washer or wipe out wave (please refer to A, B, C of Waves Blog for more info), will these fish be released from this area. BBQ tongs are too big for this type of cleaning and none of us even own ear buds!!

In conclusion, Doris is privately owned, and although she is not maintained to the incredibly high standards usually expected from her owners, she will always be our ‘Super Yacht’.

We love you Doris we do!!! x

UPDATE:
High wind and travelling in an unfavourable direction led us to deploying the para anchor last night. That meant an uncomfortable 12 hours for Ems and I sweating horrendously in the fore cabin and LP sweating and doing log book duties in the aft cabin. The lovely Meg, however, had a great night. She managed a full 8 hours sleep and was not hot at all!??!! Go figure…

As I sat on a tiny pink boat in the middle of the biggest ocean in the world, the sun determinedly sent rays of light shooting out from behind some dark grey clouds, and yet another day began. Wherever you are, this is how every new day begins…with a sunrise and 24 hours of infinite possibility. I love that!

The other certainty is that also, with every new day that passes, we will all be yet another day older.

Age is a funny thing. You spend most of your childhood wishing you were older and most of your adulthood wishing you were younger. With each decade comes a new milestone in age and with that hopefully comes a new insight, understanding into life and yourself (if you’re lucky). Lists of things you would like to have accomplished and lists of things that society dictates you should have accomplished are all hinged on age. Time seems to go quicker the older you get and the years start racing by. A strange phenomenon is that the body keeps on ageing but sometimes it feels as if the mind remains young.

There is age restriction and minimum age for many things and we are all classified into age brackets when looking for work, needing medical attention, buying insurance and even when online dating! So much importance is placed on age but what does someone’s age actually tell you?

This is what I pondered on the oars when thinking about our team and that we have ages that range from 25, the youngest member of our team, to 40, that’ll be me. The age we are had nothing to do with being interested in this challenge. The most important characteristics were commitment, determination and SPIRIT. There is no age hierarchy on Doris and although I may be the oldest, I don’t think you would ever really be certain of it. I am used to having people of varying ages around me and see people for who they are and not how old they are. As far as I am concerned, age in the Pacific rolls away like passing waves. It makes no difference.

I think that someone’s life experience can override their age. I also believe that there are just some people you meet that regardless of their age, they are an old soul. In tune with themselves and this game we call life and happy to be exactly who they are. I’ve met mature 21 year olds, immature 50 year olds, a 7 year old boy that had the hands of an old man and a 75 year old woman who was as lively as a teenager! So…is age just a number?

One thing I believe and this has been highlighted on the boat, is that, quite simply, the more time you have had getting to know yourself, the more you…know yourself. This has stood me in good stead. When doing an expedition like this you have to have a deep understanding of how your mind works and unfailing self belief. It is one of the keys to the success of any monumental journey. I’ve definitely got to the stage in my life where I’m happy with who Natalia is. Understanding my strengths, aware of my weaknesses and striving continually to grow and improve and make a small positive difference in this wonderful world.

By 40, however, there are many things that society believes I SHOULD have accomplished. There is a stable job, to own my own property, to be married and have children, to name but a few. To be settled.

It would be easy for me to allow myself to spiral into a panic because I don’t have ANY of those things, but I’m surprisingly ok with it. My life is rich, fulfilling and fascinating and I don’t feel as if I’ve forfeited anything. I know that fear stops many from stepping outside their comfort zone and allowing themselves to be honest with how they feel about what they want, where they are, who they are with and what they do. For some reason I have not felt the need to conform to society and know that if I always choose to walk an authentic life path by being true to myself, happiness will be sure to follow.

Ageing is inevitable, but deciding how you live your life is a choice that you can make. Make the most of every 24 hour day, do all the things you have always wanted to do, leave nothing unsaid to loved ones and friends, laugh often, be compassionate to yourself and others and know that if all else fails, you have lived your life with no regrets. Well…at least that’s how I believe it goes x

UPDATE:
You’re never too old to howl at a full moon! As another random social, I decided that we were going to have a full moon party. There was still fairly large waves and a 18 knot wind, so we had to make it brief. We had some glow sticks, a colour changing disco light, music on the speakers and a cheeky dance under the glow of a bright full moon in a clear night sky.
It was fab!
What a bizarre ocean life we lead…

Our wind is beginning to die down a little, but the swell is still huge. Big rolling waves that glitter in the sunlight and the constant rise and fall of our beautiful Doris. We’re still getting regular soakings and Ems’ towel is, unfortunately, still wet.

**Please help:
I have a star/planet that I would like to be identified please. I’ve seen it from near the beginning of leg 2 until now.
It is rising about 5am at the moment in the same line as Orion’s Belt. It is by far the brightest light in the sky and shines a white colour. This light, however, is not constant and it fades in and out regularly.
If anyone has any knowledge or idea what this could be, please let us know. This is one Doris mystery I need to have solved before our arrival. Thank you x

Day 14 – Days and direction

As you can imagine we’re obsessed with counting the days and getting ever closer to Cairns. We’re also all very much preoccupied with direction as obviously we need to be travelling in the right direction in order to make it successfully to our destination.

When on the oars what we spend most of our time staring at (when not gazing out at the ocean or up at the sky) is the bulkhead (our front door). So without further ado, let me introduce you to our view and entry and exit point of our home aboard Doris.

Above our ‘door’ is the word SPIRIT. This is the acronym for our values which as you all know by now is; strength, perseverance, integrity, resilience, inspiration and trust.

There also has been and will be again our quote that will go above the word SPIRIT, saying:

” You can never cross the ocean, until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ”

As we face the cabin from the deck, on the left is our Yellow Brick tracking device (responsible for the pink dots you follow), our McMurdo EPIRB (emergency positioning beacon) and one of our GoPro camera mounts.

To the right we have our Raymarine repeaters. These do just that, repeat information from our chart plotter that is inside the cabin to the screen on the outside. The main one we use shows the Heading (direction the boat is facing), the COG (course over ground which is the direction the boat is actually moving in), our speed and the time in UTC.

I have spent many a night staring hypnotically at this repeater!

Surrounding the repeaters are stickers. There are 3 sections corresponding to the 3 legs of the journey and they represent each day we were at sea. This was a tradition that I started and it is one that we will continue until our arrival. It gives an ordinarily dull view a little colour and variety and indeed, helps us keep track of how many days we have been at see.

Leg 1
Originally contained 68 stickers. A mix of random animals, the words Coxless Crew and each of the team members nick names. These had lasted well against the elements except for some substantial fading in colour (I don’t even want to know what the sun is doing to US!) This was until the beginning of leg 3, however, when for some reason, all the animals kept falling of the wall. I was confused. I know it has been extra splashy this leg so far, but how had they lasted so long previously? I observed goings on and then shared my theory. The lovely Meg had adopted a different way of exiting her new home than the rest of us. Once up and out of the footwell, she leans against that right side of the bulkhead to steady herself and her bum is the exact height of the area where the stickers have been disappearing. Mystery solved!

Unfortunately our leg 1 sticker section is now looking a little sparse…we will have to replenish them in Cairns.

Leg 2
Our longest leg of the journey so far. We included some words that were pertinent to this part of the adventure. The equator, doldrums, Doris, laughter, angry bum, fish frenzy, booby, Fernando, team work and aloha all feature as well as a turtle and some local Hawaiian flowers.
It was a long yet jam packed 97 days and the stickers reflect this.

Leg 3
This journey is now underway. We have some new stickers to start proceedings. Some multicoloured faces, of which we have many, and the word Hugs. The next word to be spelled out is going to be ‘bucket’. Something that the 3 of us have taken so for granted but the greatness of our red bucket has been highlighted by Meg and so we think it deserves a mention.

This leg we have various days to look forward to where something special is happening. As Ems already told you, we are giving ourselves rewards for hitting certain waypoints and as well as that, we have letters, cards, videos, riddles and games to open on certain specified days eg Day 10 or Day 20 etc. We have cards for a rainy day, a sad day, a frustrating day, a reflective day and we all have so much stuff for Christmas that I am beginning to think that this may be one of the best Xmas’s I will experience! It will certainly be one I won’t forget!

Above our front door we have 2 Raymarine VHF antennas. One has our courtesy flag attached to it (the Samoan one is still flying at the moment) and the other has some flowers (now dried) that Zita Martel gave us as a blessing when we left Samoa. There is also a grasshopper made out of Palm leaves that Wendy and Ian gave us on our departure that amazingly still seems to be flying strong where we put him attached to the blessing flowers.

As we travel backwards across this vast ocean, it’s strange to think that we all stare at this view for 12 hours a day…everyday, count up the days and count down the miles, want to enjoy the journey but look forward to its end and row, row, row our boat…life is like a dream x

” Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is gift,
That’s why it’s called the ‘present’ “

LP and Ems have both mentioned to me that although they really want to arrive into Cairns as quickly as possible, they don’t want to miss out on being in the moment and enjoying what this final leg has to offer. It’s easy for us to become complacent and as we’re on the last stretch of the journey, some people’s minds have a tendency to project even more into the future to Australia and beyond rather than be present right here and right now. Luckily, this appreciation of the moment is something that I find comes really naturally to me and so I’ve taken it upon myself to do my best to keep bringing the team back to the moment wherever possible.

Conversations are often started on the oars about our arrival and what we’ll eat (usually LP as she’s obsessed with food), what it will be like when we’re back and what our lives in the months after we have returned will be like. I appreciate that there are practical decisions that do need to be made in advance and planning has been one of the keys to the success of this expedition, however, outside these practicalities, I would rather not project yet.

I tend to enter the discussion briefly to entertain my rowing partner but don’t really like dwelling on the subject as although I could easily run away with thoughts and prophesies, I feel as though I would rather deal with where we are now and keep taking things shift by shift, moment by moment. There is still a long way to go in this ever changing environment with lessons to be learnt and experiences to be had. I want to immerse myself fully in the simplicity of our way of life out here. It is unlikely that we will be as far removed from civilisation as we are right now with the lack of connection to the usual stresses and pressures of everyday life.
There may be other types of challenges and hardships that we endure as we travel through Oceania, but I want to savour the beauty and uniqueness of this existence before retuning back to a familiar one.

For me, it’s all about the journey.

There are some people that have always known what they have wanted to be when they grow up. From an early age they have had their life path mapped out and they just need to take the necessary steps to get there. They were either inspired by their parent’s job, a teacher or subject at school, or just had an obvious set of skills that made it easy for them to slip into a certain career.

I was never one of those people. I never really knew what I wanted to do…and to be honest, I still don’t. All I know for sure is that it makes life easier to be passionate about what you do and failing that, ‘it’s not what you do but the way that you do it’ that matters and ideally you want to ensure you make the most of life. You live, feel and breathe it. It’s so easy to wish away your working week living only for the weekends, just as it’s so easy to wish away the experience of a journey or challenge just for the end result or reward of its completion.

I have been really lucky in that I have managed to find or I suppose choose a path and lifestyle that has allowed me to follow my passions. One era has been followed effortlessly by another and I have always had utter faith that the wind will blow me in the right direction, or more aptly, that I will be taken by the ocean currents and waves and they will send me exactly where I am destined to be.

I gave my mum a birthday card last year before I knew that I was doing the row and the message on the front was all about Zen Dog and went a little something like this:

“He knows not where he goes,
For the ocean will decide.
It’s not the destination
But the glory of the ride.”

After discussions with my brother it was decided that I was going to be Zen Dog on this trip and amazingly, it has indeed become central to the way I have looked at life out here in the middle of the Pacific.

This 9 month long experience will be one of our greatest adventures and for all of us the secret is living it fully NOW while it’s still happening. It’s a truly special journey, a quest, an oceanic pilgrimage and an exploration into the mind, body and spirit.

So, as Zen Dog it is actually my responsibility to unite the team and for us all to revel in the glory of the ride x

UPDATE:
Amazingly we are STILL travelling in the right direction at a decent speed!
The moon is now lighting our nights which have become calmer, less splashy and very beautiful and Meg had her first wildlife sighting (apart from birds) where a large marlin jumped spectacularly out of the water near the boat.
We’re very soon going to be rowing past Fiji…

Who’s afraid of the dark?

It’s where the monsters hide, your imagination runs wild, your eyes play tricks on you, something that ordinarily seems innocent can appear menacing and a place you never really want to be alone. The dark is where the demons lie and we seem to allow fear more readily into our minds.

Are you afraid of the dark?

Our expedition is unique in that exactly half of it is done under the cover of nightfall. Considering the estimated time for the complete trip is now over 9 months, that will be close to 5 full months spent having had to experience and deal with ocean life in the darkness!

For all 6 of us undertaking this journey, rowing in the dark was one of our fears. Whether it was the black water, the thought of capsizing, falling in and being separated from the boat, the fact that you can’t see the waves coming towards you, the fear of the unknown and what is out there or simply being able to stay awake, nighttime shifts take some getting used to.

Although we are slowly earning her respect, the almighty Pacific will never give us an easy ride. We may be travelling at a decent speed and good direction, but she is testing us and in particular our lovely Meg, in other ways. Our night times over the last 5 days have been amongst the darkest we’ve experienced on this journey. We’re talking so black that you cannot distinguish any horizon at all. We have been rowing blind in a never ending abyss of nothingness with increasing swell and wind speeds.

The only artificial light we have at night is our small navigation light. This is a collection of white, red and green LED lights that make up a small circle and are mounted on the front (bow) of the boat. The light is used to signal our presence to other boats that get within 2-3 miles of us but also shines a dim glow onto the deck that gives us enough light to manoeuvre around during the shift changeovers and to see the hatches where we store our stuff. If anything else needs doing, then torch light is necessary.

Last night’s wind picked up to 18 knots and the cloud cover was so thick that not even one star in the sky was spotted. During the first night time shift for Ems and I, the rain started falling and it still has not stopped 12 hours later. Last night, we’re talking torrential, driving rain and howling wind, big swell and a sky so black that our perception of space was disorientating. It was cold. For the first time since the beginning of leg 1 over 6 months ago, we were shivering on the oars no matter how hard we rowed to try and warm our bodies up. Interestingly enough it was also the first time we welcomed waves splashing over us as they were warm compared to the rain and wind we were encountering. There was no way of seeing which direction the waves were coming from or their size and the boat rose and fell with the movement of the water and lurched often when she was hit from the side. At night time for some reason you always feel as if you are travelling at a much higher speed than you are and all your senses are heightened.

A far cry from our moonlit, star-filled, reflective night rows that we’ve all grown to love so much. This is ocean rowing. The real, the raw, the challenging.

It’s too easy for LP, Ems and me to be complacent about what we do, as for us it’s just become our life as we know it, day in and day out…but Meg has allowed us to see things afresh.

What we have learnt to deal with and has now become second nature, was a moment for Meg that was, to quote,

“The most scared I’ve ever felt in my life!”

So, how do we deal with the night time? How do we stop being enveloped by spiralling paranoia and our minds running away with us? How do we embrace them and not wish them away waiting eagerly for the sun to rise every day?

When the sea is angry and the waves are sneaking up on us, we use distraction. Film narrating, life story telling, word games and music. When we’re lucky and the moon or stars shine their magic light down on us, we normally revel in the natural beauty of our surroundings and are happy to be just where we are…

Whatever type of night times we experience though, it’s inevitable that the mind will occasionally play its tricks. I’m sure until our arrival in Cairns there will be more pirate ships coming towards us (Ems), bald headed men in the water next the boat (LP) or something flying into the boat that was really a flannel hanging on the grab line (Meg).

I suppose we’ve learnt, or will learn, to understand and be intrigued by the dark. For most of us some of our most memorable moments have been under the cover of darkness, for some it’s when we feel the most alive, for one right now it holds the most fear and for others it’s where the strange phenomena of gobbledegook occurs.

Whatever the feeling, emotion or experience it evokes, there is always an interesting mind journey for us humans that the darkness inspires x