Leg 3 Day 19, a loo with a view – bucket etiquette

Meg Dyos By
Leg 3  Day 19, a loo with a view – bucket etiquette
After losing my 2nd cap yesterday and feeling really quite sad about it I had plans to write a blog talking of my loss as in addition my spork has snapped. But then as I sat there during my sunset number 2 and pondered, I got over my losses, and again appreciated the beauty of the Pacific Ocean and decided that today I would tell you more about our loo with a view.I was talking with the girls this morning about the bucket, and how I really want to name her as she is such a big part of the daily motions (quite literally) on Doris, but it was decided as she has been nameless for all of 7 months she is to remain by the name of ‘the bucket’. The reason for my wanting to talk about this process is also because it was the most common question asked back on land before I left; but also because it is the only place on Doris where you can be out on deck in the fresh air and taking in the 360 degree horizon without being asked why you aren’t rowing!

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I want to take you through a step by step process of the bucket usage, and hope that you will get a feel for just how we relieve ourselves on board. First things first, let me introduce you – the bucket is a red plastic bucket with a spout for pouring with a rope attached to her in case of the need for her retrieval from the ocean. She was born in San Francisco, and currently resides on Doris out on deck between the two rowers and at the ripe age of 8 months has seen more angry bums than a bucket needs to see.

Stage one – accepting the fact that the time has come to relieve oneself.

Stage two – inform the other rower of the need for bucket usage. There are two reasons for this, firstly to excuse yourself from rowing and secondly to hope that the driver is cautious for the duration of the other persons time on the bucket!

Stage three – untie the bucket from the jackstay runner and place bucket in a suitable and safe position in front of rowers seat. If one is preparing for a number 2, it is crucial that they fill the bucket with approx 2 – 3 inches of water before commencing the process.

Stage four – stand up and step in front of the bucket whilst carefully removing clothing and holding onto the grab rail.

Stage five – assess the wave situation and whether any big mamas are due to strike Doris whilst preparing for placing ones rear end on the bucket.

Stage six – if the coast is clear, position rear end on bucket, and hold onto grab rail during the process.

Stage seven – relieve oneself whilst taking in the surroundings (my favourite time is the sunset number 2) and keep an eye out for any cheeky waves!

Stage eight – wipe. Depending on ones technique this may involve staying seated. Alternatively if one feels the need to stand, hold the grab rail with one hand.

Stage nine – place rear end back on rowers seat.

Stage ten – wrap bucket cord around wrist for bucket security, and empty contents into the ocean. Be sure not to empty into prevailing winds to reduce the risk of backsplash.

Stage eleven – rinse bucket with sea water.

Stage twelve – re-tie bucket to jackstay. The professional will be able to do this with one hand.

Stage thirteen – re-commence rowing!

All of that, for a quick wee! Please also note, that these guidelines are not weather dependant – this process is used in all conditions and there has not yet been an incident where someone has fallen off of the bucket!

Update: we still appear to be stuck in a current, and I’m finally beginning to understand what the girls went through on the last leg with the slow progress. Last night whilst on the oars, me and Ems saw the most incredible full moon rise. I was quite literally gobsmacked with its size and beauty. Finally today I caught a reflection of my posterior in the hatch door and am rather shocked at how angry it’s looking. Hopefully it has to get worse in order to get better?? Today is also the day that my boyfriends company Esynergy Solutions did a fundraiser for our charities. I’m awaiting the total that they have raised, but could your company do the same?
Personal update – a massive happy birthday to my babe of a cousin Goggalogs Mead, and also Nanny P Dizzle for the next few days. Thinking of you xxx
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6 Comments

  1. Jim Andrews says:

    Thanks for that Meg, I am very grateful for porcelain, having read about your less than private moments on the bucket. If you should change your mind about naming, said receptacle, I think Lulu has got to he in with a shout?
    I notice the pace has dropped off a bit, hopefully a brief dip from the fabulous progress we have seen from Samoa.
    You all still surprise me on a daily basis, in your ability to put yourselves through what you do, yet still have time to update your loyal followers, with information and humour. Stay safe.XX

  2. Richard says:

    Some brilliant posts recently from each of you in turn.
    The next time my students complain about the difficulty of having to produce top quality writing under exam conditions, I’ll use you all as an example of what can be achieved under the most extreme conditions, with the right mindset.
    Each day as I go about my daily routines, I often wonder how you are getting on. Currently, it’s lashing down but I’m warm and dry indoors; you girls are battling against the elements, soaked through, tired and, no doubt, emotional, at times. I am in awe of your bravery and adventurous spirit as well as the teamwork that unites you, as you power Doris through the Ovean waves.
    Go girls. Keep up the fantastic work. Much love and respect to each of you.x

  3. Richard says:

    Oops…Ovean waves…really? That’s the problem texting when you have stubby little fingers!

  4. Simon TY says:

    Great blog. TMI……too much information.

    Anyhow, staying with Mum and Dad tonight ( reasonable sized donors) and said great blog, you really should be reading…..

    And all they get on first look is The Bucket…..I told them it was a serious, insightful and worth-reading blog.

    Anyhow, Mum Then sat for an hour absolutely fascinated !!! Well done, and Mum barked at Dad “I hope you have given them something”. Yup already done.

    Hope the current that has currently caught you is not holding you back

    Onwards and downwards xxx
    S

  5. Elaina says:

    So funny Meg, you must be a breath of fresh air lol, how about ” botty bucket ” could be a fitting name. We are watching all your miles everyday with anticipation X sending all you brave ladies all my love and total respect to you all love Elaina and all from dolphin swim school xx

  6. Roooooody says:

    Meg’s, do you remember driving robstoy back from Trop to port grimaud, through the wake of the ferry? We were both laughing hysterically and soaked from sunny g’s to toe. I bet you’ve seen bigger waves engulf Dorris!!

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